Is It Acceptable For Women To Make The First Move When It Comes To Online Dating?
Women have it instilled in them that they shouldn’t be the slight bit aggressive when it comes dating. Things have changed when it comes to dating, especially when it comes to meeting people online. On a dating site there’s hundreds if not thousands of profiles and potential candidates, if you see someone that’s of interest you should send them a casual message. It’s very likely that guy hasn’t came across your profile and doesn’t know you even exist, or maybe if he did see your profile maybe there was something that made him feel you were out of his league. You sometimes have to try and go after what you want, not just wait for Mr. wonderful to come to you. By just looking at his profile wishing he’d message you isn’t going to get you anywhere and you could be missing out on meeting a great guy. If you wanted a job would you just hang around outside the front door and wait for someone to come out and offer you a job? Of course not! You’d walk in, introduce yourself and ask for an application.
It’s a well known fact that women usually prefer to be pursued and men like to be the chaser, and that’s all fine in the real world where a woman can try to get the guy’s attention by eye contact or subtle flirting, but online the guy can see you and may not even know you exist.
Most dating sites, and even some Social Networking sites, offer “flirts” or “winks” which are pre-formatted messages to make initial contact quick and easy. Although, these flirt messages can sometimes appear too flirty and will make some feel they are being a tad too aggressive. I’ve come across a few sites that have more subtle versions of the “flirt” or “wink” messages. The Hitching-Post is one example that offers “Howdy” messages which are similar to traditional “Flirt” messages but with a big difference, they offer a variety of “Howdy” messages suitable for the purpose of just sending a friendly “Hello” to anyone, as well as “Howdy” messages that are flirtatious in nature. This can make it much easier for those who are nervous about coming across too strong on the onset. The Hitching Post is somewhat of a hybrid or cross between a dating and social networking site for Equestrian Singles or anyone interest in the country lifestyle.
The bottom line is, don’t think that initiating contact is desperate. It’s not only okay to do prospecting, it’s wise and recommended. You never know until you try, the guy could be a tad shy and be elated you contacted him, often men are very flattered when a woman shows some interest and makes the first move, and you could land up meeting a guy that’s just what you were looking for. Had you not made the first move, you wouldn’t have never met him. Remember, dating is a numbers game, don’t be fearful to be a tad assertive. You don’t have to be aggressive or even come across as pursing him, a basic “Hello” is just a way of introducing yourself, if he’s interested, nature will take over and the man will pursue you.
Also set aside your fear of rejection. Rejection is something that is never easy for women or men, especially when a romantic interest is involved. One of the great things about online dating if you’re rejected it’s not face-to-face and it’s doubtful you will ever see them in real life, so who cares! Don’t take it personal, everyone has their own desires and tastes, simply move on and keep trying, there’s others out there that will find you to be just what they were looking for.
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